The “C” Word

Aside from kidney stones, the worst medical experience I can remember happened 6 1/2 years ago. It started out with a forced liquid diet and progressed to drinking the worst concoction known to man. The grand finale was at the hospital where the procedure took place. The nurse put the needle for the IV in my arm way too early — before the doctor was even at the hospital. I had to wait for him to arrive before they would administer the sedative. Since I have an unnatural, irrational phobia about needles being in my veins, that was not a good thing. I think I was close to having a panic attack…my heart raced, my blood pressure went up, and I broke out in a sweat. The staff tried to calm me down, but I knew that wouldn’t happen unless (1) I got drugs or (2) they removed the needle. I don’t know why, but they didn’t want to remove the needle so I suffered until they finally found someone to administer the drugs and put me out of my misery. That was my first colonoscopy.

I have since learned to never allow anyone except the anesthesiologist to touch me. That has reduced my discomfort when having procedures, but it’s still nerve wracking. Most people are scared of the procedure itself — that’s where the real danger is — but not me. I’m not worried about the pain or complications. I’m only scared of that dang little needle. It’s ridiculous, but it’s something I have not been able to overcome no matter how hard I try.

Since my first colonoscopy, I have dreaded the day when I would have to undergo the procedure again. I knew it would happen, but I was hoping it would be later — much, much later.

My doctor informed me today it was sooner rather than later. It’s scheduled for May 5th. The bad news is that it means I have to face the needle again. The good news is that it’ll provide lots of fodder for my blog. Okay, the good doesn’t outweigh the bad, but I’m trying to be positive.

Wish me luck!